My WHY

I am a wife of 13 years and a mother to two wonderful little boys, 12 and 10. Before this life, I was always the skinny model type who could eat whatever I wanted and never gain an ounce. I was very healthy and vibrant. After my first son was born, I lost my weight pretty quickly. A few months later I became pregnant with my second son. I had a lot of complications throughout this pregnancy due to him being in a breech position. I gained 70 lbs putting me at 201 lbs. I had a c-section and the doctor practically butchered me causing more problems. Six months after my second son was born, I hemorrhaged and almost died. I had to have a hysterectomy and couldn't have anymore children. The doctor told me that it would be very difficult to lose weight due to hormonal imbalance. I didn't have a choice in the matter. My body was in a mess now, and I was also an emotional wreck. I managed to lose 10 or so pounds on my own. I have tried many things over the past 10 years to try to lose weight. When I say everything, I mean almost everything.  I have tried WW, 6 Week Body Makeover, Nutrisystem, Sensa, Alli, Slimquick, Drops, etc and nothing worked. I was surrounded by people who told me that I would never lose weight. I let those words define me. I sunk into a deep depression and lost ALL hope. I stayed sick and tired all the time. I felt a heaviness on and in me every single morning I woke up making it difficult to get out of bed to even face the day ahead of me. I tried my best to hide these feelings from the world, but I couldn't hide them from my husband and children for it affected them deeply. I didn't want my husband touching me for I felt disgusting and he deserved better. My children wanted me to play with them, but I always said no because I didn't feel good. I didn't get off the couch to clean, cook, play with the kids, or anything. I sat and watched tv or slept all day. I barely made myself get up to take a bath. I wouldn't go out at all because I didn't want anyone seeing me like this. I just wanted to DIE!! 

One day I wrote a note to my best friend just asking her to pray for me because I was ready to give up. I thought about ways to die many days because I didn't love myself. She suggested that I do P90X with her. I thought about it a couple of days wondering if it would be another failed attempt. I knew within myself I couldn't face another failure. I already felt like a complete failure to myself and everyone at this point in my life. I just wanted to simply LIVE, but didn't know how. I wanted to be the wife and mother God created me to be. I wanted to feel better emotionally, mentally, and physically. I talked to my husband about buying P90X and, supportive as always, he told me to go ahead. I received it on May 11,2011. I made a promise to myself and my husband that I would give it 110% this time. I did my first workout on May 12, 2011 and I haven't looked back.

 I am glad that I DECIDED, COMMITTED, and now I am SUCCEEDING. I look forward to waking up now and enjoying my workout, time with my kids and husband, and just taking care of them. I see things in my life in a brighter light now. That cloud of heaviness is gone since I have found P90X. My physical body is starting to look GREAT also. I have more energy to enjoy the quality of life now. I am not letting life pass me by anymore. I play with my kids and throw ball with them. I go out to eat and shop with my husband. I am LIVING now thanks to my husband, best friend, and children who have always believed in me, Beachbody  and Tony Horton who brought me P90X, Coach Scottie who told me to never give up, and my Staying Fit Family who has always been there to motivate and inspire. You all gave me something beautiful to see and something meaningful to say. I can't give up P90X now because it has made me a better person, inside and out, and I never want to go back to my old life. Now I want to take what P90X has given me and give to others. I want to be able to motivate and inspire others to make a difference in their own lives to better themselves so they can make a difference in other people's lives. If we all do that, we can make a healthier world. There is always HOPE, and never give up on yourself. If I can make a difference in one person's life and touch their heart, then I know that I have fulfilled my life's purpose. THAT IS MY WHY, what is yours?